Making Websites and Living Life

02.25.2023

Listen, I'm not exactly good at this whole coding thing. I'm still green at it, and I want to see how far I can go with it. It's just wildly frustrating to see people do things that are so incredible with their websites while I struggle to make this one what it is and making concessions concerning what I want because of my lack of skill. Yeah, that's it. I'm not so good at venting or writing a lot anymore. I've changed too much, but it's for the better. I don't live in my head so much anymore. My life is no longer so internal. It's happening out here, and I'm living it.

First Post

02.23.2023

I'll be the first one to tell you that I really have no idea what I'm doing here. I couldn't tell you what I'm after. What I can tell you is that I'm having a lot of fun messing around with code. It honestly feels like the first creative venture I've been on with any success in years. That feels great, and I wouldn't dare give up that feeling of accomplishment. Still, why am I coding? Why am I making websites and trying to push the limits on what I can accomplish with code? Is it all really the dopamine rush of doing something new or overcoming a challenge? Really and truly, I don't know why I am doing it. Maybe it's as simple as it being something to do.

 I like making things, and I couldn't tell you what I really like about making anything. It just feels good to make things. After reading Berserk, the manga, I know I've been on this huge kick to become as creative as possible, and I've tried to push others to do the same. It feels wildly important to be creative, so I keep trying to do that important task. Even making this first entry is my attempt to make something, but it feels dry and dead inside, utterly uninspired. The inspired part was the website, yet I have nothing inspiring to place in the site! It's like the man who builds a shovel for the craft of it, but he doesn't want to dig a hole.

 Ah, well, I'm not going to push it. I'm just going to pile up all kind of text here. I pretty much have the website exactly where I want it, and we'll see what all comes out of it.